Thursday, May 15, 2014

Bitter Rivals Conspire on First Trade of the Season

With the Beatniks able to see first place without binoculars since, well, maybe ever, they looked around to see where they could make some improvements.  Like last year, they had a surplus of starting pitching and a dirth of speed.  And, like last year, the Beatniks turned to their hated rivals, Dem Rebels for some help.

In a deal just announced this morning, the Beatniks traded Ian Kennedy (.02 16+), Brandon Crawford (.04 16+) and Austin Meadows (.05 Mx) to Dem Rebels in exchange for speed demon Dee Gordon (.05 15+) and Justin Ruggiano (.06 14).

Last year the Beatniks acquired Ben Revere for Mike Minor and others.  Less than a week after the trade Revere broke his foot and was essentially useless the remainder of the season.  That experience didn't stop the Beatniks from trying it again. 

"I had my scouts sitting in the stands down in that pit he calls Confederate Park with a high-powered sonogram and focused it on all of Gordon's appendages," said Head Beatnik, Nick Hansen.  "Reports came back that his bone structure was solid and we shouldn't have a repeat from last year.

When asked why he would make a trade with a hated rival, Head Rebel Rich Bentel responded "This trade made so much sense on many levels.  We need starting pitching since we don't seem to recognize that as a component during the actual draft.  And when you look at the players we received, it matches with our team chemistry.  Crawford almost sounds like crawfish which is one of the delicacies we sell at our concession carts.  Kennedy is reminiscent of aristocracy, blue blood, cogentry that we despise down here. . . oh wait, that doesn't make any sense.  But with Meadows we figured we can't have enough 19 year old prospects on our team.  He's essentially the same age as my oldest daughter.  I looked at her over dinner last night and thought 'Can you really cover centerfield and get on base at a .360 clip?'  I have faith."